Keliru

I dapat offer to continue my study at UPM (Bac.Sc HRD) for 4 yrs. I know this is my last chance for me to proceed with my study but so many thing to consider as a mother and a wife at my age.

To proceed with my study, it cost me 19.6K , and i need to have 1.4k for my registration. Eventhough 1 can have it now but what about next semester?... can i have enough money to survive?..

As mother i kena dulukan anak dalam bidang pelajaran...
Afif need to further study, Nurul need My attention/ support for her SPM, khairun for sure need money for her medical study. I kena fulfil keperluan mereka dulu.

For me..
I'm now 45 yrs... After finishing study, i already 49... kalau i ada rezeki, maybe 1 dapat kenaikan bila 50 tahun.. itu pun belum tentu lagi ... Oh... I'm old already.

Bukan soal duit je yan gperlu difikirkan, masa yang perlu digunakan... every weekend i have to go to class...

I suka belajar... it keep me sentiasa berfikir dan cergas... I sukeee..tapi i tak boleh selfish...kan..kan...kan..

I dah buat solat istikharah...My mind is still 50/50... Oh tuhan.. tolong lah aku.

Jika meneruskan pelajaran ini lebih menguntungkan aku, keluargaku, agamaku, akhiratku maka permudahkan lah bagiku atas urusan ku ini. Jika tidak aku redha atas segala ketentuan mu.
Aku bersyukur atas segala apa yang aku ada pada masa ini... cuma aku perlukan pertolongan mu untuk sentiasa memberi hidayah kepada ku....
Aku berharap saki baki umurku ini sentiasa didalam keredhaanmu.